My Experience at the Table – Scott Gregg
Being with YWAM for six months in Hawaii and India was the best time of my life. As soon as I stepped onto the University of the Nations campus, I was surrounded by young people on fire for Jesus. The presence of God was thick and everywhere I went people were worshipping, praying, reading the word, and discussing the greatness of the Lord. It was incredible! I remember thinking “this is what life should be like.” “Why is life back home not like this?” Soon I began to make friends (actually it was more like finding my brothers and sisters) and we shared with each other the deepest parts of ourselves while reflecting on God’s work at the core of our being.
It is difficult for me to describe how healing and freeing it was to completely open myself up to others and get nothing but love and encouragement in return. My school leaders Dawn and Pieter are faithful servants of the Lord who know the power of encouragement; and along with my classmates, they supported me and built me up at every opportunity. I’ll never be able to thank them enough for the difference they made in my life. The change that occurred in me on that campus was nothing short of miraculous.
After six months I was returning home a different man. I was confident in myself, in the Lord, and in the work he had prepared me to do. I felt like I was going to get back to San Diego, step off the plane, and start a massive revival the likes of which the world had never seen. But when I got back I found that people were going about their lives in much the same manner as they had when I left for YWAM. It seemed that no one had the desire or the time to live every minute for the Lord. Worse yet, the problems that I thought I had dealt with in Kona were waiting for me when I returned to San Diego. I literally walked into my room and the fears, anxiety, and attachments of my old self rushed back on me all at once. I was no longer under the cover of the love and encouragement of my YWAM friends and I longed to find another community of believers who would take me in as a part of their spiritual family.
My search for a church had begun, but every time I felt like I had found a community that I could get plugged into I felt the Lord’s hand stop me. As time went on, my experience at YWAM felt like a passing dream or distant memory blurred by the chaos of the ‘real world’. I began to feel lonely, sad, and frustrated. I asked the Lord, “What is going on?” “Why can’t I find my spiritual family?” “ Where has that passion for you gone?”
But the Lord had a plan, He was preparing me for a life of surrender unto Him, He was preparing me for a life lived at his table.
My dad and I started holding meetings at our house each week and the Lord began to show us the brokenness in our own lives and in the lives of others.
Initially, we would talk to each other about our lives and even pray for each other in our struggles. This helped immensely, but there was something missing.
Somehow, from somewhere, by grace, Romans 12:1 opened to us. “I beseech you therefore, by the mercies of God that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, Holy and acceptable unto Him.” We began to present ourselves unto him; often and out loud. The Lord was calling us to bring whatever was in our lives to him.
My dad, John and I brought our pain and struggles and he began unfolding His grace. I shared openly just as I had done with my friends in YWAM, but instead of simply praying for each other or giving advice to each other, we turned our hearts to the Lord and offered our stuff unto him as a holy sacrifice.
We realized quickly that when we submitted our struggles, pain, and fears at the table unto Jesus, the power of his grace filled us up. We were consumed with God’s love for us and struck with the reality that God is involved in every part of our lives.
There is nothing too big or too small to bring to him. I believe that to love you must first be seen and we had begun to let our Heavenly Father see us as we are. We invited him in and he responded by pouring out on us his unceasing love and grace.
Gratitude followed this outpouring of love and grace like thunder follows lightning and we started placing our thanksgiving on the table as a gift to him. Thus a lifestyle of surrendering gifts and sacrifices was born in my life.
I go to Jesus daily and give Him my gratitude and my pain and because of this I am privileged to consistently live in His presence. Do you know how empowering it is to understand that whatever happens to me, and whatever my circumstances may be, I can turn to Him for encouragement and support? God is so good, and the more I live a life of surrender at the Lord’s Table the more I become aware of His love for me; and this in turn fills me with love for others.
When we sit around the table, after we all have surrendered ourselves to the Lord, I feel a deep bond with those who shared their gifts and sacrifices to the Lord. I am often consumed with the desire to hug everyone. There is so much of the Love of God.
This world is not heaven, there are bumps and bruises along the way, but Jesus has given us access to heaven through the table where he offered Himself as the ultimate gift and sacrifice for us. When we come to the table we see Heaven penetrate Earth and resurrection power infiltrates our daily lives. We are confronted with the reality of a creator that is for us, one that cares about all that is going on and one that offers Himself as relief to all that weighs us down.
It is at the table where I draw near to God and find comfort in His arms and it is at the table where I receive revelations of who Jesus is and how He operates. Meeting the Lord at his table is God’s gift to me.
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